Lyrics

I wake up tired from the dreams I had
Argued with ghosts in my own head
The room feels loud when it's perfectly still
Every thought racing, none standing still

I check my phone like it owes me peace
Like one small sign might rescue me
I rehearse conversations that won't exist
Say I'm fine like it's a practiced script

I hold my breath like the ground might fall
Like one wrong step ruins it all
If calm is a place, I don't know the road
I just keep carrying this invisible load

And I try to stay brave but my hands still shake
I smile too hard so no one knows I'm afraid

I'm doing fine, I'm doing great
That's the lie I learned to say
Got my heart in a quiet war
With everything I can't control
I laugh it off, I overthink
Count the cracks in everything
If you ask me how I've been
I say okay and then I bend

I say I'm good, I say I'm cool
But my chest feels bulletproof
To the outside, I look okay
Inside I'm screaming anyway

There's a knot in my throat when the lights go down
When silence starts to make a sound
I replay moments I should forget
Every maybe, every what-if left unsaid

I'm scared of losing what I don't have
Of wanting more than I'm allowed
I'm scared of peace 'cause what if it leaves
Like everything else that promised me

I line up reasons I should relax
But my mind just circles back
If fear's a habit, I know it well
I wear it like a second skin

And I swear I'm trying not to break
But some nights just won't let me escape

I'm doing fine, I'm doing great
That's the lie I learned to say
Got my heart in a quiet war
With everything I can't control
I laugh it off, I overthink
Count the cracks in everything
If you ask me how I've been
I say"okay" and then I bend

I say I'm good, I say I'm cool
But my chest feels bulletproof
To the outside, I look okay
Inside I'm screaming anyway

Maybe one day my mind will slow
Stop turning every thought to stone
Maybe peace won't feel like a test
Maybe calm won't hurt my chest

I'm learning how to stay
Even when my fear won't go away

I'm doing fine, I'm doing great
Still learning how to be this brave
If I'm honest just for tonight
I'm tired of pretending I'm alright
So if you ask me how I've been
I might tell you everything